As you delve farther into the holiday season, you may notice others (or even yourself) experiencing a mix of emotions. Maybe you feel joyful during this season of thanksgiving and celebration. You may be excited as you prepare to celebrate Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukah or one of the other holidays with your family. Or, maybe you find yourself on the other side of things.

Maybe you experience moments of dread and loneliness as the holidays are approaching. Feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, sadness, and even depression may surround you and lead you to feel like you are suffocating while others around you enjoy what’s generally considered to be a happy season. 

While it may seem that negative emotions are inevitable, a key factor that can help you deal with ups and downs of the holidays, as well as every season of life is gratitude.

Gratitude

Don’t check out here. I promise, this isn’t going to be the lecture that you hear from your parents, siblings, friends, or other relatives during the year. Taking on an attitude of gratitude is actually strongly associated with positive benefits, which is supported by research. Studies show that among the healthy and even among those with significant mental health concerns, gratitude results in greater overall mental health and psychological well-being.

For example, a study involving nearly 300 adults (primarily college students) conducted by Joshua Brown and Joel Wong (2017) indicated several beneficial findings of gratitude:

1. Gratitude shifts our focus from negative, toxic emotions to more positive experiences;

2. Gratitude in processing helps even if it is not shared with others;

3. The benefits of gratitude take time to build; and

4. Gratitude has lasting effects on how the brain processes information, possibly resulting in  individuals being more sensitive to the experience of gratitude over time. 

Smith also discusses the importance of gratitude in terms of our thinking processes. While thought processes associated with depression and anxiety are often negative and ruminative in nature, gratitude serves as a competing response and allows for a more mindful approach. There is a sense of appreciation for the present rather than a negative focus on things past or possible things to come. 

At the same time, you should not use gratitude as a guilt-tripping tool, which can contribute to negative outcomes. You also should not assume that because you have much to be grateful for, then your negative emotions are unacceptable. This reflects a maladaptive thinking pattern (i.e., black/white thinking, either/or) that commonly contributes to feelings of anxiety and depression.

Please don’t forget this. It is very possible for you to experience feelings such as hurt, frustration, and anger and be grateful at the same time. Maintaining a perspective of gratitude during hard times gives you a way to cope with your difficulties rather than focusing on emotions/experiences that would serve to undermine your individual potential and general health. 

Overall, adopting a perspective of gratitude this holiday season can help you navigate the highs and lows you may experience due to family stress, gift-giving, financial difficulties, loneliness, and health-related issues, among other things. Developing a sense of appreciation amid the chaos of life can help ground you in situations that might naturally overwhelm you and result in better processing/thinking patterns that contribute to more positive experiences and interactions in your daily life.

If the effects are not immediately observable, don’t lose heart! Challenge yourself and others to hold on to the beauty of the present moment and dismantle negative thought patterns that would otherwise disable your ability to fight back against your feelings depression and anxiety. We’re rooting for you!